I always liked the idea of double dates. Going out with my best friends and their boyfriends. The guys would become best friends too and we would eventually go on trips together, have movie marathons, and live happily ever after.
About a year ago, my then boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go out with some of his friends on a group date. I imagined my fantasy and got really excited. The day started off well and we ate, chatted, and it was all good until we started talking about self-defense. I tend to have a dark sense of humor. Throw in some sarcasm, exaggeration, and violence and that pretty much sums me up.
Guy 1: What would you do to defend yourself if someone tried to mug you or something?
Girl 1: I’d kick him in the balls
Guy 2: No, they expect that
Girl 2: I’d punch him in the face
Me: No, you have to punch him in the neck
Girl 2: What??
Guy 2: Yea, the neck is the most vulnerable and least expected so it’s the best way to go
Me: Yea, and make sure you hold your keys in your knuckles when you punch them
Girl 1: Why, how about pepper spray?
Me: Honestly, you’ll fumble with it because you’re stressed. With the keys, you can stab him in the neck and he’ll bleed out pretty fast while gasping for air. The blood will seep into his air pipe and he’ll choke on his blood too. And then you can run away.
Them: (Staring back at me in silence while Guy 1 holds his throat with his hand, looking at me in disgust)
Me: Haha I’m just joking.. . Kind of.. (As I smile to lighten the mood)
My boyfriend saves me by saying: Haha. . I guess you can protect me then
Me: Ha ha. . yea.. (As I take a sip of my drink and look away. .)
New plan. Only go on group dates with MY friends, not his.