Alumni Problems

Today, I received a phone call from Parsons, where I went to grad school. I was surprised and worried because there’s no reason for them to call me.

Ohh, but there is.. “As a recent alumni, you are welcome to donate to Parsons to help students like me continue my studies at such an amazing school.. blablabla give me your money bitch.” She explained that she was a freshman and donations from alumni help with resources, scholarships, and a whole lot of other shit to make her secondary education a lot easier, affordable, and rewarding.

What I wanted to say was: Listen up freshman. I barely make enough money to sustain myself, I received no funding because apparently there aren’t any scholarships for middle-class, average GPA, Asian girls like me. And since I studied something that can only be appreciated in the field of research (as a professor or ethnographer), I can’t find an immediate practical job. And now you’re asking my brokeass, underpaid  alumni of Parsons to give you how much money a month so that you can have a “pleasant experience” in college? Fuck off.

What I really said: Oh, I’ll think about it.
Her: We really need the funds by tonight.
Me: Okay then, I can’t. I don’t have money. Actually, I’m the one that needs money since I have so much debt from Parsons.
Her: Ha ha. . (uncomfortable, doesn’t know what to say)
Me: BOOM. In your face. Suck it.

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