I don’t need my job. I don’t have to be here.
I changed jobs about 2 months ago and I was super grateful and happy at first. Happiness turned into pride which started to taint my heart with boastful glee. Just one year ago, I was an intern. I went from intern to freelancer, to writer, and now manager. How could I not be overflowing with glee?
I started to idolize my job title, my resume, my company. And I hated it. I didn’t want to identify myself by what I do for a living, because then I knew I would start to judge others by their occupation as well.
Two months into this job and I can safely say that God has completely stripped me of all my worries, because it’s been 2 months of hell. Being surrounded by people who are so obsessed with money, pleasing clients, sucking up to the boss, working day, night, and weekends. I quickly saw what I didn’t want to become.
People I work with don’t care about anyone else, because they care so much about themselves. They won’t blink when they lie, they won’t look back when they throw you under the bus, and they’ll blame everything on you when things go wrong but happily take the credit when things go right.
When I witnessed this pattern, I realized something. I realized that I don’t idolize my job or title enough to stay, to become one of them, and to lose myself in the process. They’re so scared of losing their job that they’re willing to do anything.
Advertising agency’s fire Account Teams if they lose a client so it’s very cutthroat. Since they’re stressed, they become crazy and controlling and make everyone else stressed.
I don’t want to become like that. I won’t become like that.
I used to be so worried about money and finances and I thought I needed to do whatever it took to stay at a job. But not anymore. It’s not worth it. I don’t need this job. And this mindset is what gives me power again. When you stop idolizing something, you’re not enslaved to it anymore. I have control over my life again.